8:50pm Friday night I sit down to write after a huge few days at a Leadership Retreat in beautiful rural Victoria.
I am absolutely wrecked but my mind, my power house could go on for days.
My mind is full of thoughts and realisations after spending time with like minded growth thinkers. As I come into Week 32 of my pregnancy there are many thoughts that are brewing as I find some questions I’m getting asked to raise some strong opinions in me.
Now the questions I am getting asked are what you would imagine to be fairly standard;
I completely understand that these people in my life care about me. They are genuinely quite interested on how much life, in their eyes is going to change for me.
These questions have made me think hugely about how much I love the direction of my life and how much I am looking forward to continuing to build and grow the things I love.
My initial thoughts to these questions may or may not seem strange to the reader….
*How long are you taking off?
I have no plans to take any extended leave until the need arises
*When do you plan on slowing down?
I don’t feel like Im going fast, what is fast, what is slow?
*When are you going to stop training?
I train when I want, I rest when I need to. Training is a part of my routine- the benefits outweigh the negatives.
*Don’t you think your doing too much?
No I really don’t feel like I’m doing ‘too much’- do you know I actually nap most days- thats not doing anything
*Should you be lifting weights still?
I have had no issues arise for my health and my babies health- my Dr’s are happy with how my active little girl is growing. I feel grateful that I am still able to move my body (albeit much more limited now) and will continue to do so.
*What do you plan to do when she arrives?
I’ve never had a baby before- I will wait until she is here and assess the situation as it unfolds
*Who is going to run your business when she arrives?
Me of course.
For those reading, there could be a number of you thinking something along the lines of…..
“You just wait, you have no idea how much your life is going to change. Kids change everything, your life will be so different”
I will definitely be the first one to put up my hand and say- yup I’ve never had a baby before and I am completely new to this so I may be in for a rude awakening. I am so nervous and so apprehensive about what the future will be bring. I am also going to put my hand up and say I have seen some absolutely incredible women do what they want, when they want and nurture and love their children along the way. Can I please sign up for some of the qualities!
In the career that I love, I have met so many different people. And every time I meet someone, spend time with them and get to know them I learn from them. This is a pretty cool thing when you think about it!
I have met passionate people
I have met inspirational people
I have met caring people
I have met happy people
I have also met depressed people
I have met anxious people
I have met the most unhappiest people
I have met people that are beaten down
I am an observer and someone that loves to learn. The people that I have met that are unhappy, depressed, anxious, stressed, broken- they have taught me things. Just like the people that are passionate and inspirational make me want to do better every day.
They have shown me how hard it is for them to get out of bed every day. They have shown me how it looks when they constantly tell themselves they are not good enough or tear down every part of them that they believe is wrong.
And you know what- with the struggles I have had with body image in my past, I don’t want to struggle with that in this unchartered territory of motherhood.
I want to exhibit the qualities of the people that I have met that are so happy to go to work, to move their body, to spend time with their family and to praise themselves.
I have met the Mum with the young family that struggles to go through every day not picking herself apart and constantly having struggles with her weight and her mental state.
I have met the Mum with the daughter who took the entry of her child into the world as a challenge and figured it out along the way.
I have met the heavily overweight Mum with the teenage daughter who has neglected herself for too long but committed to change, showing her daughter what is possible.
I have met the Mum who thinks that she hides her mental health issues from her teenage daughters when in actual fact they are starting to exhibit traits that mimic her struggles.
At times it frightens me to think that I could the 40 year old Mum who struggles with the common issues that so many women face. I don’t want to contribute to another generation of young girls that grow up with the body image issues that I did. I don’t want to contribute to the industry that exploits women’s insecurities by telling them they aren’t skinny enough or that their butt is too flat or that their lips are too small.
I will contribute to the lives of women and my daughter by doing the work I do when I can. If that means that I’m running at 50% capacity then so be it- I will cross that bridge when I get to it and use the qualities that I possess to reach a suitable outcome.
If that means that I cannot do many of the tasks that I do now because my daughter demands more of me- I will delegate as necessary.
I am beyond excited to meet Alexis and introduce her into the world.
I have the opportunity to show my daughter how powerful and bad ass she can be.
Life is for living x