I am a self proclaimed creature of routine. I like to train around the same time each day, eat the same frequency of meals each day, read every morning, complete tasks at set times each day.
Prior to having a baby this was some of the structure I liked and maintained. This worked well for me. With a now 6 month old baby, that routine has been shaken up in every possible. Those that are Mum’s will understand me when I say that whether you like it or not or want to admit it or not you are on baby time now and there ain’t nothing you can do but go with the flow. This was a huge adjustment for me when Lexie entered the world. I struggled with feeling “normal” and did not feel like myself in the absence of routine. Its taken 6 months for me to really make the realisation that I am not entirely the same person. I am a Mum now and with that role comes a whole heap of new responsibilities.
In my current world, Lexie is with me all day from the minute we wake up until 6pm when I start coaching for the night and “changeover occurs” with my husband. I am a business owner who manages multiple staff members, runs a Female Performance Facility and completes a number of various tasks with projects I am involved in. I have an incredible life and absolutely love the work I do. Working alongside women to help them realise and achieve personal goals in all areas of their lives is a true privilege. It is the most rewarding work possible. But, and there is a but, the reality is that merging my life prior to having a baby and my new life with a mini me was and is challenging.
Lexie is grizzly and crying while I am trying to train. I get frustrated that I have to stop training and then I get sad that I’m annoyed at her and then I get thankful because she smiles and I just love this kid so much. I have a meeting with a staff member. Lexie is playing nicely on the ground. I breathe a sigh of relief but the anxious feeling of waiting for her to crack into screams lingers while I am trying to deliver what I want to say.
I would drop anything for my girl but that doesn’t mean I am exempt for feeling a myriad of different emotions when having to roll with the punches.
I am currently writing from New Zealand where I am visiting my family for Christmas. I’ve been here for 4 days and trained once. I wanted to train today. I needed to train today. My body is stiff and sore and needs movement. My mind is a little wired as I am away from my beloved ladies back in Melbourne. A 4 hour trip to my in laws coupled with tending to Lexie, dinner and settling in, training simply couldn’t happen.
For a routine chaser like myself, I had to stop and sit and I made some realisations. Life is about experiences. These experiences presented today were so enjoyable. I got to drive 4 hours across my beloved home country and look at the beauty of the landscape I once took for granted. I got to see my in laws see their granddaughter laugh as they played with her. I got to sit down to a delicious meal prepared by loved ones. What an incredible day.
I would have loved to have trained today but thats the way the cookie crumbles and I simply don’t care now.
My life does not run in routine anymore. Once upon a time this would have killed me mentally but today I have other mechanisms that allow me to fill the void that training usually does. If the absence of something important in your life is not there, do you have the ability to make yourself feel better and feel like yourself? I can’t train at the same time each day, eat the same amount of meals on time or complete tasks on schedule, so be it. I can still feel “normal” and like myself because no matter if a routine is present or not I know how to give thanks and gratitude for experiences around me. I know that I can read or listen to something that is going to flood my mind with positive energy. Even if its simply for 5 minutes, I can choose to change my attitude within an instant.
It sure ain’t sunshine, lollipops and positive thoughts every day…..but I can bring myself back to a place where I feel like me. Sleep deprived, hungry, frustrated or sad, I can get back to me. Breaking the precious routine I once had was one of the best things that happened to me. I can roll with the punches. Shake off a shitty day and enjoy the experiences.